Well, well, well, the critics on a certain snarky website have spoken! And spoken ill about a certain mall in a certain city in a certain state with the initials of V and A.
While not exactly an expert on the matter myself, but one who knows that renting an apartment in any region of Alexandria beside any shopping establishment puts you well ahead of the game – hear that? – I’ve decided to defend Alexandria’s Landmark Mall. Why? Because I can. Why else? Because I hate crowds, and when you shop at Landmark Mall, you won’t have to fight your way to Macy’s or stand in a huge line at Chick-fil-A. I think that’s a positive.
Landmark Mall gives you the chance to get in and get out with your booty without feeling like it’s the grand opening of a Target or Wal-Mart in a questionable neighborhood where they’re selling giant plasma TVs for 100 bucks. You can have that. I’m staying home.
Whatever the trendy mall-goers or teenage girls have to say really doesn’t change the fact that Macy’s and Sears are still Macy’s and Sears, no matter if they’re stationed in a fancy schmancy “mixed-use,” “eco-smart,” newfangled wave-of-the-future-type deal or by themselves in some desolate outpost. Being one of the better cities ringing the nation’s capital, the mighty Alexandria, Va., is no Podunk.
[ Related: Alexandria: Urban Amenities, Suburban Comfort All in One Place ]
Is it just me, or are you also getting a little sick of the whole green thing? It’s just another way for the powers-that-be to control you. Hey, I’m all for responsible environmental policies, but you know there’s an ulterior motive behind this kinda thing – always is. Follow the money, and it gets interesting.
Back to the wonders of Landmark Mall. Some people complain that it lacks major names. Well, I already gave you three, but here are some more.
For “womanly” things, Landmark Mall is home to Victoria’s Secret and Bath & Body Works. For “manly” things, and most men don’t exactly like shopping, there is Suit & Co. For either sex wanting to get into shape or stay healthy, Landmark offers the venerable General Nutrition Center.
Need a haircut? Well, you can get one at Landmark Mall. How about Bubbles? I’ve graced a Bubbles before, and they did a good job. Need glasses? Feel your way toward Hour Eyes or LensCrafters, whichever one suits you. How about a nice family restaurant and a hamburger or two? The American Café has you covered there.
Look, I’m not gonna pretend this is an upscale palace of retail or some beautiful technological marvel, because it’s not. Commodities are disposable and so are, in time, the facilities that house them. I’m much more into the fact that the Landmark neighborhood has cheaper rents than many other places in Alexandria.
[ Related: Landmark an Eclectic, Affordable Destination in Alexandria ]
What did a certain voice of a past generation say once? He said, “Give peace a chance.” I’m not even asking that much. I’m asking you to give Landmark Mall a chance.
If you live in the area, you’ll be glad you did because it beats driving to Tysons or somewhere else. Who needs the traffic, either the kind you find on the road or on foot?
Yes, one day, the place will be renovated, torn down, converted, transmogrified, whatever your choice of change agents, and you won’t have old Landmark Mall to kick around anymore, no you won’t.
So, until then, repeat after me, “All we are saying/is give Landmark a chance. All we are saying/is give Landmark a chance.”
Again, with feeling!
