Living Well With Chronic Illness

Millions of Americans live on the physical and emotional roller coaster created by chronic illness. If you're one of them, you can take steps to let go of the mental barriers and anger that make your life even more difficult.

"If you have a chronic illness, you'll discover that your mind can be your best friend or worst enemy," says Lori Hartwell, founder of the Renal Support Network and author of Chronically Happy: Joyful Living in Spite of Chronic Illness. "You can choose to stay stuck in misery, or you can choose to free yourself from the depression and anxiety that come with illness and live your life to the fullest."

Ms. Hartwell became chronically ill at age 2, was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease at age 12 and had a third kidney transplant in 1990. Despite a lifetime of pain and weeks spent in hospitals, Ms. Hartwell has a rewarding family life and a successful career as a speaker, educator and renal patient advocate.

Speaking from personal experience, she offers the following suggestions on how to stay positive, joyful and in control when living with chronic illness.

Take Control of Your Attitude

• Stay positive.
  Negative self-talk, pessimistic media reports and comments from others can increase your worries and feelings that your life would be better if only you were healthier. "But by identifying these negatives for what they are and replacing them with positive thoughts and affirmations, you can stay focused more easily on your self-worth and the things you can and want to do," says Ms. Hartwell.
• Seek support from people who understand.
  Expressing your feelings to an attentive, empathetic listener can alleviate anxiety and provide reassurance. "Talking with people who face similar challenges can give you encouragement and help you keep a clear perspective on your life," she says.
• Read inspiring stories.
  Take strength from reading books about people who have overcome great obstacles.
• Pay attention to what you can control.
  Dwelling on things you can't control is a recipe for depression and loss of hope. Ms. Hartwell sorts out things by doing a simple exercise when she's overwhelmed. "I write out the situation that's bothering me, and underneath I note the actions I can take to improve it. If I can't write anything, I realize I'm powerless and I have to release the problem to faith, luck or patience. If I can do something, then my written words point me in a clear direction, where I know I'll get results."
• Listen to motivational tapes.
  "Motivational speakers are much like nonreligious ministers," says Ms. Hartwell. "They encourage people to achieve their highest goals, whether in their professions, finances, health or love."
• Focus on activities you can do, not on those you can't.
  "Finding a passion in life that isn't dependent on having physical abilities is a blessing," says Ms. Hartwell. "It's about doing activities that give you pleasure rather then ruminating over what your body can't do anymore."

Staywell

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