reading body language, eye contact, tone of voice, how to listenHearing What's Not Being SaiddocumentHearing What's Not Being Said <p>A good listener knows that the words coming out of the other person's mouth probably aren't the whole story. Here are tips for getting the rest of the story the nonverbal part.</p><p> <strong>Body Language</strong> </p> <p> Observe facial expressions, how the speaker uses his or her hands, posture and movements. For instance: </p> <ul> <li>Restless movements or fidgeting gestures such as foot tapping may signal boredom or nervousness.</li> <li>Crossed arms may mean the person is closed on the subject, disagrees or feels trapped.</li> <li>A raised eyebrow may mean the person is dubious about what he's saying.</li> <li>A quivering chin or lip could mean the person is upset.</li> </ul> <p> <strong>Eye Contact</strong> </p> <p> There's truth to the old saying &quot;The eyes are the windows of the soul.&quot; The most expressive part of most people is the face, especially the eyes. A certain glance can reveal more than a thousand words. Looking around while speaking may indicate that the speaker wishes to end the conversation with you.</p><p> <br /> <strong>Tone of Voice</strong> </p> <p> Does it match the words? </p> <ul> <li>A high-pitched tone may reveal fear, anger or other emotion.</li> <li>A person who mumbles may disagree but be afraid to say so.</li> <li>A quivering voice may mean the person is upset.</li> <li>Is the inflection upbeat, or monotone and unenthusiastic?</li> </ul> <p> <strong>Be Completely Present</strong> </p> <p> To really hear what's not being said, you need to be free from prejudgments or extraneous thoughts. </p> <ul> <li>Keep your mind open. You'll naturally pick up more nonverbal cues than if you've already decided what you're going to hear.</li> <li>Set aside your own preoccupations. If you're worried or thinking about something else, you may not notice what's going on in front of you.</li> </ul> <p>&quot;It is just as important to listen to someone with your eyes as it is with your ears.&quot; Martin Buxbaum </p> <p><em>Parlay International &copy;2007</em></p> <p align="center">Copyright &copy; 2001 - 2008 COPE INC.<br /> All rights reserved.</p> 1/en/resources/personal_growth/hearing_whats_not_being_said.xml